Bella* is 13 and struggling. School felt like a burden, especially the “boring lessons” that left her frustrated and grumpy. Mornings were particularly hard … her mum would say “Bella doesn’t do mornings!” which would irritate Bella, and the frustrations would carry through her entire day. For a young teenager trying to navigate school, friendships, and family life, it all felt overwhelming.
THE CHALLENGE: School Frustration and Morning Mood Struggles
When Bella came to therapy with her mum, she knew what she wanted: to wake up happy, feel calm inside, and not get so frustrated at school. But like many 13-year-olds, she initially focused on how her changes would make others happy ( her mum and stepdad).
When I asked who else would be happy if she achieved her goals, she didn’t have an answer. When I raised my eyebrows, she paused, then said: “Me!” That was the beginning of Becka learning to put herself first.
Starting point: Feeling 5 out of 10
THE JOURNEY: Building Emotional Regulation Skills
Finding What She Enjoys (Week 3)
Early on, Bella started reconnecting with things she actually liked doing. One breakthrough moment came when she talked about cricket and, more importantly, practising cricket with her stepdad, Paul, in the park.
It wasn’t just about the activity. It was about choosing to engage with family positively, on her terms.
Learning the Swish Technique (Week 4)
We introduced a tool called the Swish Technique … a way to interrupt negative emotions in the moment. We practised it multiple times until Bella really got it.
The next session, she’d jumped from 7 to 8 out of 10. The technique was working.
“They Can Please Themselves, I Will Do What I Do” (Week 5)
This was Bella’s second breakthrough moment. She’d reached 8 out of 10 and said something powerful about the people who got to her at school: “They can please themselves, I will do what I do.”
At 13, she’d figured out what many adults struggle with: emotional independence. Other people’s reactions didn’t have to control how she felt. She could brush off the negativity like brushing off a fly and focus on what made her happy.
Bedtime Positive Thinking (Week 6)
Bella made the connection herself: how she felt in the morning was connected to what she did the night before. She came up with her own strategy:
“Think positive thoughts before I go to bed and remember what has made me smile.”
She’d watch TV downstairs, then go to her room and actively think about the good parts of her day. It was simple, but it worked.
School Isn’t a Bother Anymore (Final Session)
Bella and her mum decided together that this was to be the final session, she was ready to finish therapy. When we talked about school, everything had shifted: “School is ok, it will no longer be a bother to me. I will look forward to the lessons and the people I like to spend my time with.”
THE TRANSFORMATION
Before therapy:
- Frustrated at school, especially with “boring lessons”
- Morning grumpiness was affecting her whole day
- Reactive to peers who “got to her”
- Focused on others’ happiness before her own
- Feeling 4/10
After 7 sessions:
- School is no longer a bother and looking forward to lessons
- Smiling more, especially with friends
- Emotional independence from peer reactions
- Confident saying “Me!” when asked who’d be happy
- Feeling 8/10 (peak)
Bella’s Reflections
The most powerful thing Bella said during our sessions was this: “They can please themselves, I will do what I do.”
At 13, she’d learned that she couldn’t control how others acted or what they thought, but she could control how she responded. She could choose to let it go and focus on what made her happy.
Where Bella is now
Bella is thriving. She’s smiling more when she goes out with friends. She’s using her bedtime routine to set herself up for better mornings. She’s looking forward to school instead of dreading it.
Most importantly, she’s learned to centre her own wellbeing. When I asked her for the last time, “Who would be happy?” she didn’t hesitate: “Me!” She has progressed from being grumpy in the morning to genuinely happy. From being frustrated at school to looking forward to lessons. From reacting to peer drama to being emotionally independent.
Bella didn’t just learn to manage her emotions – she learned that her happiness matters, and she has the power to protect it. That’s not just growing up. That’s growing strong.
Solution focused hypnotherapy helped Bella develop emotional regulation skills and self-advocacy in just 7 sessions over 12 weeks. If your teenager is struggling with school frustration, peer dynamics, or morning mood challenges, solution focused hypnotherapy can provide age-appropriate tools for lasting change.
*Name changed for confidentiality.